All character names link to their sections and all chapter names link to their summaries.
Sasha — Sasha can be argued as being the central character of the book. Throughout the novel we see her character evolve from being an impoverished street worker in her early years, to working for Bennie Salazar in the music business, then suffering from kleptomania, and eventually settling down and getting married. At the end of the book Sasha is married Drew Blake and has two children with him, Alison and Lincoln. She is featured in Found Objects, The Gold Cure, Out of Body, Goodbye, My Love, and Great Rock and Roll Pauses.
Alex — Initially presented as minor character that has a date with Sasha, Alex is not featured in the novel until Pure Language, where he is the point of view character. He is convinced by Bennie to use social networking to pitch Scotty’s upcoming concert as “the next big thing.” He is married to Rebecca, and they have a child together, Cara-Ann.
Bennie- Bennie is one of the “main” characters of the novel, as he appears in numerous chapters, such as The Gold Cure, Ask Me If I Care, X’s and O’s, A to B, and Pure Language. He is the ex-husband of Stephanie and Chris’ father. It can be inferred that Lou got him interested seriously in the music industry when he was a teenager making music in his band, “The Flaming Dildos,” with his friends Scotty, Jocelyn, Alice, and Rhea. His fame launched after he discovered his friend Bosco’s band the Conduits. He is a very self-conscious man and worries about what others think of him. For a few years, Sasha is his assistant. Appearances matter very much to him, especially since he is Hispanic and has experienced racism and stereotyping during most of his life. In the future, he is married to Lupa and has a daughter, Ava. Lulu is his new assistant, and he works in collaboration with Alex to help Scotty make a comeback. He displays extreme nostalgia and a deep longing for experiences he has had in the past.
Chris- Chris is Bennie and Stephanie’s nine-year-old son. He can be found in the chapters entitled The Gold Cure and A to B. He is not close with his father whatsoever, and he seems to hide his true self and feelings when spending time with Bennie. Their relationship is broken, and Chris is unable, or unwilling, to connect with his father.
Rhea — As one of the high school friends that revolves around The Flaming Dildos, Rhea is in love with Scotty, feelings that are unrequited. She is the point of view character in Ask Me if I Care. She feels ashamed of her freckled face, and is revolted by Lou’s open sexual attention towards her best friend, Jocelyn. She is one of two characters who visits Lou on his deathbed in You (Plural).
Alice — Alice is a part of the group of friends that makes the band Flaming Dildos, and she’s featured most in Ask Me if I Care. Bennie is in love with her, but she chooses Scotty over him and marries Scotty, a marriage that eventually ends in divorce.
Scotty — After forming The Flaming Dildos with Bennie and other friends, Scotty ends up marrying Alice and working a dead-end job. He is the point of view character in Xs and Os. He meets with Bennie, then a record company executive, and presents him with a dead fish. Scotty is a self-deceiving, discontented wreck that is divorced and lives alone, watching television most days because he considers that as good as reality. He finally makes a comeback in life when he performs a concert that unites the next generation in Pure Language at the conclusion of the book.
Jocelyn — As Lou’s lover, Jocelyn comes in during Ask Me if I Care and is the point of view character in You (Plural). She is disappointed with how her life goes, and hates Lou for his treatment of Rolph, her secret love during her fling with Lou. She blames him for Rolph’s suicide. Jocelyn has drug problems and has made nothing of her life by the time she’s in her 30’s.
Lou — Serving as a mentor to Bennie, Lou eventually brings him into the record business after The Flaming Dildos fails as a band. Lou is constantly engaged in relationships with girls significantly younger than him, including Jocelyn. He is a major character in Ask Me if I Care, Safari, and You (Plural). He has two children featured in the novel, Rolph and Charlie, and an additional four that are not brought into the story. He eventually marries Mindy, his third wife, after events in Safari. His regret at his life decisions is revealed on his deathbed in You (Plural).
Rolph — One of Lou’s two children. As the point of view character in Safari, Rolph becomes attached to Mindy, Lou’s future wife. He is close to his sister, Charlie (Charlene.) He later develops a relationship with Lou’s significantly younger girlfriend, Jocely. In You (Plural) it is revealed that Rolph killed himself at the age of 28.
Charlie — Preferring to go by Charlie over her real name, Charlene, she is one of two children that Lou has. She is not affectionate towards Mindy, Lou’s future wife, and often behaves rebelliously. She is extremely close to her younger brother, Rolph. She is featured in Safari.
Mindy — After going on a trip with Lou in Safari, Mindy develops feelings for the safari tour guide, Albert, which Lou discovers through Rolph. This inspires him to marry her, which is his third marriage. She develops a bond with Rolph, even though he is offended by her flirting with Albert. She eventually divorces Lou.
Albert — Albert is the driver in the chapter Safari. He leads Lou’s tour group, which includes Charlie, Rolph, and Mindy, out onto the savannah and helps them get closer to the animals. He shoots a lion that attacks a traveler, Chronos, and fears he may lose his job. He flirts with Mindy, causing Rolph to become upset with her and complain to his father, which leads to Lou marrying Mindy.
Stephanie- Stephanie is Bennie’s ex-wife, Chris’ mom, and Jules’ sister. She is mentioned in The Gold Cure and narrates the chapter A to B. She has a strong desire to fit in, which is difficult to do in such a “proper” neighborhood, what with her dark hair and numerous piercings. She used to work for La Doll when she and Bennie resided in Crandale. Appearances are important to her, and she cares deeply about what others think of her.
Kathy- Kathy is the head mom whom Stephanie plays tennis with in the uppity town of Crandale. She can be found in the chapter entitled A to B. She is blonde, tan, and thin, which is why Stephanie is so envious of her. She ends up having an affair with Bennie, which ultimately destroys his and Stephanie’s marriage.
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Jules- Jules is Stephanie’s older brother and a professional writer. He is featured in the chapters A to B and Forty-Minute Lunch: Kitty Jackson Opens Up About Love, Fame, and Nixon! He goes to prison after assaulting the young actress Kitty Jackson during an interview. At that time in the novel, he is extremely self-conscious and self-deprecating. He envies all of the opportunities Kitty seems to have and he avoids his own life by focusing on hers. Once he gets out of prison, he attempts to get his journalistic career back on track. He is hired by Bosco to document every aspect of his “Suicide Tour.” He writes a book on it titled Conduit: A Rock-and-Roll Suicide, proving that one does not need to be young to achieve success.
Bosco- Bosco used to be the lead guitarist of the Conduits, the hit band Bennie discovered. He is most notably in the chapter A to B. He is one of Stephanie and Bennie’s close friends due to that, which is why Stephanie acts as his publicist and booking agent. He used to be a spastic, skinny red-head, but a few years ago he was stricken with cancer. He became overweight from all the medicine and is a shell of what he once was. He plans to make a comeback with his album A to B. He is dying and wants to go out with a bang, so he decides to go on a “Suicide Tour.” Ironically, he ends up recovering while on tour and moves on to own a dairy farm. Jules even writes a book about it called Conduit: A Rock-and — Roll Suicide.
Dolly (La Doll)- Dolly is Lulu’s mother. She used to go by the name “La Doll” when she was on top in the public relations world. She can be found in the chapters A to B and Selling the General. What completely ruined her career was a party she threw on New Year’s Eve. There was an incident where some hot oil and water burned through their plastic trays and fell onto the heads of unsuspecting guests. She was accused of doing it on purpose and expelled from the entertainment industry. Now, she is the publicist for General B, a genocidal, sadistic, war crime committing man. She has a fear of being forgotten, being “old news,” which is a key idea in the novel.
Lulu- Lulu is Dolly’s daughter. She is seen twice in the novel, in the chapters Selling the General and Pure Language, and very briefly mentioned in Safari. She is first introduced when she is nine years old and living with her mother. She is extremely smart and seems much older than she actually is. She is the “queen bee” of her friend group, and appearances matter a great deal to her. The second time she comes in is in the future. She is Bennie’s assistant, representative of the new technological generation. She embodies the spirit of the new youth.
The General (General B)- The General is a highly satirical character. He only appears in one chapter of the novel, Selling the General, and only briefly. He is talked about extensively, but only seen “in person” once. He commits a number of atrocious war crimes, including genocide, so he hires Dolly to be his publicist and keep his image positive.
Kitty- Kitty is seen twice in the novel: once, as a fresh, promising, eighteen-year-old movie star just starting out, and then again as a washed-up, twenty-eight-year-old struggling with her acting career, in the chapters Selling the General and Forty-Minute Lunch: Kitty Jackson Opens Up About Love, Fame, and Nixon! She gains the most fame after Jules assaults her in Central Park during an interview. After that, she begins to engage in bad behavior and has trouble getting hired. She is used by Dolly to improve the general’s public image. She longs to be innocent again, and represents the obsession American pop culture has with youth.
Rob — Rob is Sasha’s best friend in college and is the point of view character in Out of Body. He suffers from depression and had attempted suicide recently, causing his friends to treat him differently. Rob is struggling with denial and is hesitant to admit that he’s a homosexual. He has a crush on Drew and goes swimming with him naked in a river, where he drowns after being caught in a current, a death most assume was suicide.
Drew — Drew went to university with the goal of becoming the President of the United States. He changes his career path, however, and becomes a doctor after witnessing the drowning death of Rob in Out of Body. In Great Rock and Roll Pauses, he is married to Sasha and has two children, Lincoln and Alison, with her.
Ted — Ted Hollander is Sasha’s uncle. He is sent to Naples by Sasha’s parents to attempt to find her and bring her home in Goodbye, My Love. He is married to Susan and has two sons with her, Alfred and Miles. Ted is an author and primarily uses his time in Naples to visit local museums and study the culture. It is evident that his marriage is suffering and he considers himself to be distant from his sons.
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Susan — Susan is the wife of Ted Hollander and has two sons, Alfred and Miles. She can be described as relentlessly cheerful. The chapter Goodbye, My love suggests that Susan and Ted are having marital problems and that her cheer might be an act.
Alfred — Alfred Hollander is the son of Ted and Susan Hollander. His relationship with his father is centralized on bonding over sports. Alfred has an older brother named Miles. He is introduced in Goodbye, My Love.
Miles — Miles Hollander is the son of Ted and Susan Hollander. His relationship with his father is centralized on bonding over sports. Miles has a little brother named Alfred and is described as having “a joyous will to self-destruct” He is introduced in Goodbye, My Love.
Alison — Alison is Sasha and Drew’s daughter and is the point of view character in Great Rock And Roll Pauses. The chapter is presented as a slide journal using PowerPoint and Alison is the author. Alison is 12 and has an older brother named Lincoln. Alison is quite close to her father but has a strained relationship with her mother. She is one of the only people able to understand the way Lincoln communicates with his father.
Lincoln — Lincoln is Sasha and Drew’s son, and Alison’s sister. He is 13 and is introduced in Great Rock And Roll Pauses. Lincoln is autistic and has trouble communicating with his parents. In the chapter, he is said to really enjoy the long pauses that can be found in Rock and Roll music. It is believed that he uses music to communicate with his family.
Rebecca — As Alex’s wife, Rebecca does not come into the story until Pure Language. She is against the proliferation of technology for children, refusing to let their child, Cara-Ann, use a handset. She is opposed to use of social networking to falsely promote a concert, and is unaware of Alex’s job doing just this for Scotty’s concert.
Cara-Ann — Alex’s and Rebecca’s only child, Cara-Ann is a technology obsessed, demanding toddler. She is brought into the novel in Pure Language.
Ava- Ava is the daughter of Bennie and Lupa. She is only found in the final chapter, Pure Language. She is only a few months old and a part of the baby boom that came after fifteen years old war. She is also a part of the “pointer” generation, meaning that she is perpetuating the corruption and greed of the music industry.
Lupa- Lupa is Bennie’s second wife. She is only in the chapter called Pure Language. She is significantly younger than him. She is Ava’s mother, dark-eyed and beautiful. It can be inferred that Lupa reminds Bennie of his home and old life in Daly City, California, and that is the reason he married her.
This page compiled by Samantha Keller, Jacob Hall, and Emily Chudzik.